Sunday, August 10, 2008

More about me

So, although this posting has nothing to do with breast cancer I did want to also let everyone know about some thing else that is going on in my life.

Most of you that have been around Ted and I for the past few years know that our marriage has been strained. In the spring Ted decided that he no longer wanted to be married to me and was ready to move on. He said that we had simply drifted apart and our friends and interests were just too different. I was utterly devastated by his decision. He agreed to stay in the house until August to finish it so I can sell it and move on. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer after some very hard discussions Ted said that he was would stay until I finished my treatments and help Tiger Lily and I through this.

I realized last weekend while I was in Iowa that when I asked him to put on hold the new life he had already started to live before I was diagnosed with cancer that this was something that was unfair to both of us. Although he has been supportive throughout this I can not continue to hope that things are different than what they are and so last week he moved in with his friend's father. We are now attempting to maintain a friendship after 20 years of marriage so that Tiger Lily knows how much she is loved. He has promised to help me through my treatments even though he won't be living with us and that he really will finish the house this fall. I believe him which is why the decision for him to leave, although difficult, was a necessary one so I can also begin to heal my soul.

Please understand that this is a very painful time for me and I apologize ahead of time if I don't answer phone calls or emails but I will heal and I will also survive this.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow Geni,

Still a lady to the very end and it is quite obvious that you loved Ted more than he loved you as you are still thinking about his welfare before your own.

Please don't beat yourself up and take the blame for how your life has traveled to this point. Use your health as a deversion to what is going on in your life with Ted, it will deaden some of the heartache I am sure you are feeling right now.

I wish I had words of comfort to give you, but can't think of anything right now that would make this all better for you. Hang on to the little one, as this is all affecting her more than you will ever know. She too is losing alot right now. The family she grew up with, the father she had idolized, the knowledge of knowing her mother is sick and could be for a while. Her home will be sold someday, and she will be a teenager in a few years....that is alot to take on right now.

Keep your chin up and know that many people love you and are here for you. Let us in once in a while too. We feel so helpless and anything you let us do for you is letting us know that we matter to you also. Don't change for anyone Geni.

Love always,
sg

Anonymous said...

P.T.: I just want to say what an amazing woman you are!! I wish you the best in your healing - cancer and heart!!!

Just know that we are here when you are ready to talk, cry, laugh, and whatever else you need to do to get going again!!!!

I send you all of our love, kisses and hugs!! Take care and call anytime you need too!!!

Love - Ro & C

Cheryl said...

There's an old saying, "That which does not kill you, makes you stronger." You are gonna be one tough cookie.
Love you,
Cheryl

alfia said...

I wish you to heal both your body and your soul as fast as possible. I am not sure I would be as kind as you are towards Ted after the betrayal of this magnitude, but it is just me.
Hugs and kisses!

jtc said...

Gosh, gb, I am so sorry to hear how difficult this year has been for you. Your beloved little ones will help with healing all wounds, while you help her pain, too. Kids are remarkably resilient with these circumstances, and she will bring you smiles day after day (until she becomes 13, maybe... no guarantees). Pls know that you are in my prayers for a successful recovery in both body and soul. Your family and friends will be a part of your best medicine.
jtc

Anonymous said...

Talk about being kicked while you're down. But not for long. I know you, you will pull yourself up by your boot straps,hold your head high, and march forward.

You will do whatever it takes to lick this cancer and be the role model you have always been for tiger lily. Others should follow your example, be the mother to their children like you are to TL.

You are the definition of a class act. Hang in there. Sorry about Ted's loss, you will be OK in time.

Sweet Dreams.

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

Hi Gini, You are the most amazing woman I have known in a long time. I wish I had known you when I was going thru all of my stuff. The lessons I learned from you are priceless. Please let us know what we can do for you. You are too precious to go thru this alone. Big hug.