Use Your Mind Well

Rene Descartes once said “It is not enough to have a good mind; the main thing is to use it well.”

Someone asked me the other day what is the most important quality someone should possess if they want to get a PhD in science. I can’t really say there is any one in particular but I have seen people who aren’t brilliant get a PhD simply because they have the perseverance to keep looking until they find the answer that they know is right. Perhaps that is the best quality to have. I would never say that I am a brilliant scientist, I love what I do and I love science which is important. What got me through grad school was probably more perseverance than anything else. Anyone who has worked with me as a scientist knows that I will sometimes repeat the same experiment many times if I get an answer I don’t believe—most of the time the answer is just too good to be true which is why I’ll repeat it. Anyone who knows me outside of science knows that I will not stop until I have the full story and completely understand why, how and when and if I can’t get resolution I’ll just keep asking until I find what I need to know. So to answer my friend’s question, to get a PhD in science you must be stubborn, curious, love to solve things, and above all use your mind well.

What does this have to do with my journey, nothing but I did say I was going to sometimes just blog about off the wall stuff. If in the end it starts a discussion about what people think it takes to be successful so be it, if not well….at least I answered my friend’s question. My personality quirks are all my own, but I do not give up until I know the answer which is just me.

Good News

I had what I think will be the final appointment with the dermatologist today! My breast is clearing and they are now convinced the problems are due to radiation damage so NO BIOPSY. As such I will now just have to wait for my skin and breast to regenerate which will take around a year. I’m relieved, happy and just elated that it wasn’t a recurrence.

Tiger Lily is away with her father and his family for a long weekend out of town so I’m really a single woman this weekend. I have a lot of work to do still from last fall and will probably spend most of the weekend working. I am going out with friends for margaritas tonight and on Sunday I think we are going to the DC101 Daytona 500 party downtown. This is one of those things I have always wanted to do and now I can.

Hope everyone enjoys the holiday weekend.

February is half over????

I was reminded today that I never updated everyone on whether or not I achieved my goals for January.

No trips to the emergency room for me--still don't walk like a supermodel but I'm getting better.... I didn't sign up for a yoga class but I did start back on the treadmill. I would like to run a 10K this summer and running increases my appetite so maybe I'll also gain weight. I didn't finish my paper but it's interesting how you can spend months looking at data and think it's all junk until you start writing what you think will be a negative paper. We now realize that if you interfere with the pain receptor we work with it is harmful if you look at survival during sepsis. The main reason this is so interesting is one of the drugs that we are using to interfere with the receptor is going to be used in the clinic (yippee, this is the goal of everyone at NIH) and we now know that special care needs to be taken to avoid sepsis in these patients. Unfortunately, I'm not sure why yet. I guess that's the next paper.

So, my goals for February (even though it's half over) is to be able to run a 10 minute mile, finish my paper and take a Zumba class.

Stay tuned...

breast cancer site

I did promise that I would continue to keep posting any updates on breast cancer and here's a link to a site that has compiled a bunch of the literature out there as to what are the highest risks factors associated with breast cancer.

http://sciencereview.silentspring.org/index.cfm

It's interesting to see what things you can control for and the factors you can't control for.

Dinner Out

First off, thanks to Anon for the suggestions of where to eat and Bonefish Grill made it to the finals. The Rainforest Cafe is now in Colombia Mall and we didn't want to drive far.

We ended up going to The Melting Pot. It's one of those places I've always wanted to go to and I was happy that Tiger Lily wanted to try it. She said it was the best place she had ever been to and wants to go again next week. For those of you that don't know it's a fondue place. The waitress even gave Tiger Lily a special gift in honor of her amazing report card. We were so full when we finished that we came home and just sat on the couch.

She is having a slumber party tonight and has been making plans all week for a scavenger hunt, movie fest and all night gab session. It will be a fun evening for all, the three girls she invited over are all fabulous friends.

There is some improvement for me and I'm getting very hopeful that we may be at the end of this. Keep your fingers crossed.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend.

Report cards

Tiger Lily got her report card yesterday and she continues to do amazing in school. She got all A’s and O’s with one exception, an S in Music. She is bummed that she won’t get to go to the “All A’s party” but I am still so very very proud of her. She has worked so hard this year to be organized, do her homework on time and study for all her tests.

We are planning a special evening on Friday, dinner and what ever else she wants to do in order to celebrate. Any suggestions on where to eat would be greatly appreciated!

Hugs and kisses

News and Me

So, we have had some computer problems at home and I’m sorry for the delay in the updates—I’m trying to post using my Blackberry, we’ll see how it goes.

Tiger Lily did not get the part in the play. She was disappointed for about 10 minutes and then decided to try again. That’s my girl!!! There is no progress for me, we are trying one last ditch effort and if there is no improvement I will have a biopsy. They still do not know what the cause is but the general consensus is simply radiation damage and not cancer again.

Every once in awhile I’ll probably just spend some time here talking about me which is perhaps a little self centered but I sometimes forget about me in my rush to be so much else. Everyone wants me to start dating as if this will somehow heal me and make me feel better about everything that happened. A friend asked me the other day what I would look for this time around when I reach the point where I feel I’ve done enough emotional house cleaning to put myself out there. I don’t know what I want, I know what I don’t want which I guess is a start. There is a father in Tiger Lily’s group that has made it clear he would like to get to know me better and it is nice to know that at least someone noticed. Stop jumping up and down everyone, group is over.

I would like to remind everyone that beating up Ted and his friend (she was never ever my friend) doesn’t do much good. I am the one in August that said enough is enough and you need to either be prepared to dedicate yourself to helping us or you must leave. Before you start to comment etc. please remember that he played a pivotal role in the discovery of my cancer and I never would have discovered it as early. The hopes and dreams that he would want to stay with us were all on my side, he was honest even during the times when I thought that maybe we were trying to reconcile that he didn’t want to change his mind. He had already begun his new life and had been sharing dances and his soul with someone else, in my heart I knew that all along. That being said, we have tried very hard to be friends, we even exchanged Christmas presents and I used mine the other day when I installed new locks on the doors (we’ve had a few strange incidents lately where I’m sure someone has been in the house and everyone knows the code so…). He knows that friendship does not mean forgiveness, we just feel this will be better for Tiger Lily and as everyone knows, she is worth a few sacrifices along the way. So I will now say in defense of my friend that enough is enough, please.

I’ve had a few rough weeks lately while I continue to adjust to being alone but it is all part of the process. Tiger Lily and I will be fine. If anyone knows a single guy that is intelligent (let’s face it, I’m smart and I refuse to dumb down my conversation), loves children, doesn’t mind a few scars, will go to a NASCAR race and the theater (and fits in at both) and has the proverbial sense of humor, well send him my way. I guess I do know where I want to start.

Moving forward with baby steps everyday.